The other day, I had an unexpected conversation with my daughter as I dropped her off at school. It went something like this:

Lauren: “Bye, honey, have a great day at school!”

Quinn: “Bye, Mom, have a great day at work!”

Lauren: “Remember, I don’t work, I’m just at home during the day.”

Quinn: “Mom! You work. You clean the whole house!”

Lauren: “Okay, yes! I do work. Thank you, I will!”

A lot came to mind about this little, quick conversation we had.

First Take-Away

One thing was that I’m not JUST a stay-at-home mom, and to word it that way brings shame upon a significant job. I am not just a stay-at-home mom to my daughter. No, she sees it as much more. She knows the vibe of our home right when she gets home from school. She is thankful and realizes how much work goes into keeping a home up. Organizing, baking, cooking, seasonal chores, daily chores, farm chores, taking care of the humans in the house, the animals, etc. Because I have chosen to stay home and we are financially able for me to stay home, Quinn can see how much time and effort I put in throughout the day for the home to always be welcoming, cozy, and ready for living. This is an important job that is easy to pass off as a little job. Although we aren’t making as much money as we would if I had a full-time job, the time I have to be intentional with Quinn when she is home is priceless. I only have her in the house for 18 years, and I want to be able to use that time wisely.

Second Take-Away

With all the necessary work I do at home, it sometimes feels like it goes unnoticed. It’s easy to do this, especially when Quinn and Jordan are gone all day. They come home to a clean home, laundry folded, and dinner being prepared. Now, they don’t expect this. But if it weren’t this way, if the house were messy and in disarray for a long time, Jordan would probably wonder if I was okay. Because the thing is, I like being a stay-at-home mom. I like that I can create a home that is lived in, clean, disinfected, organized, and prepare dinner. I get to grocery shop, take my time, and be creative through writing and painting. I get to have the time to think about what would fill the other people’s cups in the home, and have it as a surprise when they get home. It fills my heart to serve my family in this way. But when you come home to this every day, it starts to be an unspoken expectation and not a big deal. This is understandable.

This simple conversation with my daughter reminded me that I am seen—the things I do in the day matter. I might not get a thank you or recognition, but I would’ve already burned out if I did it for those things. My heart is in service to the people I share this home with.

Here’s the thing, too:

I don’t even do everything. We three make a great team. Quinn has a list of age-appropriate chores she does every morning. They include feeding the bunnies, collecting eggs, practicing piano, doing homework, making her bed, and ensuring her bedroom and bathroom are picked up. She can do all these in about 20 minutes. Jordan does his fair share, too, and when he’s home, he steps in and steps up where I need help.

Third Take-Away

Although my job doesn’t pay, I have found ways to be creative, fill my time, and enjoy being home. I have also found ways to have a little passive income, which is fun. With the time I have that Quinn is at school, I have learned to be intentional and purposeful with my time at home. My goal is for all the things I must do to be done so we can chill, play games, get ready for her sports, or sit and have a snack after school. It’s a special hour and a half until Dad comes home, where we hang out. Sometimes her friends come over, she goes to their house, or she wants some alone time. But she will be comfortable and welcome because of my work when she is at school. When clean, a home is more welcoming and cozy; kids can feel that peace. They might not recognize it, but in so many words, her sweet encouragement showed me that she does notice a difference.

She might not notice or understand to the full extent now, but when she’s older and decides to become a mom, she will see and appreciate all I (and we) did for her—just like I noticed everything my mom (and dad) did in our home to make it welcoming for friends, my brother, and me.

Mother’s Day

So, for this Mother’s Day, celebrate because as a mom, you are seen. Relax in a job well done, whether you are a mom who stays at home or a mom who has a career. You are doing your best. Your work matters. You matter. And your kids appreciate you more than you know.